Released in June 2004 by American country music artist Tim McGraw, “Live Like You Were Dying,” was an enormous success. It won several ‘song of the year’ awards. The song’s lyrics center on experiencing life to its fullest and becoming a better person, after learning devastating and life changing news. It glamorizes the process of a person’s final months and days. Real life doesn’t always work that way. The truth about dying is very simple; it’s sad and unexpected. I am pretty sure most people do not want to live like they’re dying, I think everyone would want to live like they have another 20, 30, 40 years left without weekly chemo treatments.
A close friend of mine is experiencing this situation, knowing his days are limited. It looks nothing like the song. He is relatively young to be given a late-stage cancer diagnosis. Up until the news, he was living a happy, retired life after a great career as a business leader. He is intelligent, practical, with a dry witty sense of humor. A biker, kayaker, boat restorer, Grandpa – aspiring roles for most of us.
We’re all mortal. We can’t control life changes, or even avoid them. We can’t trust what we can’t control, even if we can influence it. It’s easy to feel powerless. There is a fear of death that can take possession of us and reveal our helplessness, especially when not being able to soften the pain for those we love. We’re all going to die and dying is a really hard way to learn about life.
Robert Boyles, a preeminent 17th-century Irish philosopher
and theological, wrote when discussing man’s character, “As the sun is best seen at its rising and setting, so men’s native dispositions are clearest seen when they are children, and when they are dying.”
It is never our circumstance that makes us feel a certain way. It’s our state of mind. When our state of mind is low, circumstances will bother us. When our state of mind is high, we can rise above it and move forward. We can rise against adversity as a kite rises against the resistance of the wind. However, controlling our state of mind under extreme duress is challenging and, in some cases, unfeasible. Kites don’t fly well in swirling gale force winds.
The lesson being hammered into me as I watch my friend, is we need to be proactive and live like we are dying all the time. Live every day like it is our last, it just might be. If we can’t change the circumstances, we should commit ourselves to making it matter, every day, even in small ways – a note, pat on the back, a kind word, a kind gesture.
We can be selfish and somewhat egotistical beings. So, let’s leverage that aspect to our advantage. Let’s be motivated to live in such a way, where there will be an empty space when we’re gone, people will miss us. Let’s live a good life and make the world a better place. Let’s also not pull future pain forward. The day will come when we must confront certain pains, but for today let’s rejoice.
Author James Clear talks about age and opportunity, “Whatever age we are today, our future self would love to be it. Most people do not consider 65 to be a young age… but when we’re 75, we’d love to rewind to 65 and regain those years. Few people would describe 35 as our youth, but in our mid-50s our mid-30s will seem like the young buck. Today is a great opportunity, no matter our age. Looking back in a few years, today will seem like the time when we were young and full of potential or the moment when we could have started early or the turning point when we made a choice that benefited our future. The moment in front of us right now is a good one. Make the most of it.” Live this moment like there may not be many more moments.
When this life is over, God is going to ask us, “Did we fill it as best we could?” He created the heavens and the earth, saturated it with beauty and love – for us. Did we enjoy each breath, every moment, every glimpse, every touch of another’s hand or of our heart. Did we love our neighbor. It will be the quality of our days that matter, not the quantity.
In James 4:14, we read, our life is like “a puff of smoke that appears briefly and then disappears.” We’re here a little while, then we’re gone, we don’t get to be here long. The uncertainty of our life should drive trust and complete dependence on God, and the necessity of submitting to God’s will.
We are living in this time by God’s plan. He intended us to live today, He may intend for us to live tomorrow. Therefore, each day there is a kingdom assignment for us, to use our life and influence to make an eternal difference. When Jesus knew He had only a short time left with His disciples, He showed them the full extent of His love. If we knew we only had a short time left, we would want to do the same thing.
Let dying come as a guest, one welcomed and long prepared for by the way in which we live and love every day.
