A new football coaching staff has arrived at my alma mater, Lafayette College, and with a new staff comes a new mindset, new ideas and a new motto. The Head Coach is using the phrase “It’s a privilege, not a right, to play and coach for the Lafayette Leopards”. He is building off the rich history and deep traditions of the program to move it forward. Lafayette is part of the most played college football rivalry; it is where, arguably, both the helmet and huddle were born; it is also a program that back in 1949 refused to accept a Sun Bowl invitation because it stipulated they leave their African-American Running Back at home. Coach is letting the 5 dozen players and dozen coaches know that this is something special granted to them at this moment and they need to recognize the distinct honor. Not everyone gets to play football at Lafayette, every year potential players are denied that opportunity and privilege.
I started noodling that viewpoint around in my head and realize how ‘dead on’ Coach is and how that attitude is needed for life in total. We need to recognize that what we get to do every day is a privilege. Going through life’s daily experiences realizing the pleasure and honor of things as opposed to just seeing them with no consideration or passion.
The way I look at it, it is a privilege to be married – to have someone in my life that loves and supports me; to have a family – to love and enrich my children’s lives so they grow and become special people in this world; to work at the company I do – to be part of a team that makes a difference and leading/mentoring those around me. Looking at it as anything less is cheating the experience and we are willing to settle for less than the best. Missing a tackle or block becomes something that “just happened coach” as opposed to being something that bothers us and drives us to improve. Missing a birthday or anniversary; going through the motions at work to collect a paycheck are unacceptable when we consider what we do a privilege.
Remember just like the football team situation, there are others looking to have the privileges that we don’t honor. If my position at work were to become open there would be numerous applicants. There are countless cases of wives and children moving on from husbands and fathers that just didn’t make the required effort.
Seeing things as a privilege plays off the “Get to” versus “Have to” comparison. “Get to” is the privilege perspective; “Have to” is the obligatory perspective. When we see it as a privilege, we are grateful for the opportunity that is presented to us. When we see it as an obligation, we feel trapped and maybe even have a victim mentality. An obligation is no longer something special.
We either have to take the kids to practice or we get to take the kids to practice. How much of a privilege is it that we get quality time for conversations and discover what is going on in their lives. We either have to do the dishes or we get to do the dishes. How much of a privilege is it to be able to clean up after a meal, especially if someone else prepared it. We either have to get up early to exercise or we get to wake up early and exercise. How wonderful it is that we are healthy and fit enough to get up and run, lift, walk, swim, etc. We “get to” enjoy and experience the freedom and benefits of being able to exercise.
I had a teammate and very dear friend from Lafayette die at the age of 37 from brain cancer, leaving behind a wife and three daughters. One night when my wife and I were dealing with one of those unsettling teenage daughter issues that left us up most of the night, I was able to put it in perspective when I said that John didn’t have the privilege that I had that evening. I got to have that hard, life impacting conversation that he couldn’t have with his daughters.
Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.” I believe we can substitute the word privilege for miracle.
When we see everything as a privilege, we stop seeing things as a ‘right’ or an ‘entitlement’, we see things as a gift. Too many in society today feel they deserve certain things and when they don’t get them they complain, as if being cheated. Consider when we landed ‘that job’ where we were excited and took it is as a privilege. Then over time we lose that perspective and take on the entitlement view. The workplace is no longer a privilege but now our right. What happens? Are we at the job to serve the company or if the company is to serve us. Do we find others who feel the same way and collectively commiserate about how mistreated everyone is. This same privilege-versus-right factor is applied to marriages. Groups of people gather just to complain about their spouses, thinking in some way these sessions are cathartic, only to go home to their spouses, seeing their faults even more and their gifts less clearly.
Gratitude is a huge part of privilege. Be grateful for opportunities as something special granted to us at this moment. A society that feels entitled to what it receives does not adequately express gratitude. Why be grateful when we get what we think we have coming, because after all, we had it coming, right? Looking at the world from the outside in, displaces gratitude, so let’s look at the world from the inside out and see the privileges we have.
Consider it a privilege to serve others and recognize the position we have to afford that service. In my company’s annual state of the business speech the President used the phrase “we serve from a privileged position” when discussing our customers. We don’t take for granted our customers do business with us, we honor that relationship and we are grateful for their trust. We ‘get to’ handle their sometimes inane requests or complaints.
My mantra for living life these days come from Luke 12:48; to whom much has been given, much is expected. I am privileged to have talents invested in me by God and I am expected to put them to use for His glory. From Philippians 1:29, we have been given the privilege of serving Christ, not only by believing in him, but also by suffering for him. Be grateful. Honor His gift. It is a privilege.
